Worthiness.

It’s sad how someone sets the precedence of what you are worth, after being brought down so low by them.

I guess the only answer to that predicament is to stay single and regardless of the precedence set by someone else, don’t settle for less.

There are nice guys out there but because they are rare, they are hard to find.  I sometimes feel anxious to find someone because like everyone else, I desire to be loved by someone decedent.  I am afraid however, that the desire to be loved causes me to be with, the wrong one.  Lord only knows that I had enough of the, wrong guy.

Regardless of the intensity of my feelings, the “_ _ _ _ _ _”  is out of my league on so many levels, therefore, I need to find a way to erase them NOT only from my mind but, from my heart as well.  Perhaps, if I do find someone and I focus on them, the other individual will become extinct.  Now, in my heart the bar was set by the "BELLA" individual inside an out, and the question is, will I ever find someone that BELLA or, that makes me feel so alive?

It’s amazing however, how you are affected by some people when you meet them and BAM, you become totally “enamored,” by them.  I’m NOT a Psychologist or anything and I don’t play one on television, but I do believe that the precedence set by my abusing ex has something to do with me becoming attracted, to the wrong ones.  Not that the individual is a bad person because they are truly far from it but, the impossibility and the taunting I get from them, is that precedence I am apparently, only worthy of, for now.

Outside of the obvious precedence, I wish I knew what the individual sparked and why it’s so HARD, to shake.  Not too mention, they keep me AWAKE at night, which is stressful.  Only "DIO", knows.