Too many REGRETS that LIFE just won't, let me FORGET!!!

I have TOO many REGRETS and life won't let me, FORGET them.  Just when I believe I have a handle on one regret, life reminds me of another one.  I don't want to sound as if I'm dwelling on the past, but I don't care what anyone says or likes to convince people of, there are some occurrences in life that you just CAN'T forget!!!  Many occurrences in life whether good, bad or indifferent become a regret that one may not get over.  Of course when we're younger the World appears as our oyster, with NO regrets to encounter.  We may take life for granted or just simply feel that we have the World, by the horns.  Nothing could be further from the truth, but again hindsight is 20-20.  We encounter many people that have lived full, fruitful lives that try to warn and guide us through the difficulty, of making the appropriate decisions.  I laugh as I'm writing this because although I tried to heed to the advice given to me, I wanted my age to stop when I turned eighteen.  I wasn't a drinker so therefore, there was NO need to reach the age of twenty one.  Alas, I was a smoker but back then {not that I'm too old}, you can purchase cigarettes at the age of eighteen.  Which reminds me of a funny story of trying to purchase cigarettes in Florida, when I was twenty four years old.  Oh my God, talk about taking advice and guidance.  Or in this case, taken a compliment and just walking away with it.  No, not me that's NOT what I did.  What I did was walk into the convenience store but I didn't take my pocket book or wallet with me.  I simply walked to the store with the money and didn't give it another thought.  When I got to the counter and asked for a pack of Marlboro Lights, the woman asked me for identification.  I just looked at her and said what, what are you talking about?  I couldn't believe that I was being carded because in New York, I was NEVER carded when buying cigarettes.  She explained that I looked too young to buy cigarettes and in lieu of feeling complimented, I was ANNOYED to the core.  I had to walk all the way back to my Aunt Gertie's house, wake my cousin up and walk all the way back to the store to show her my identification.  My point is there was not only a compliment in this scenario, but a lesson as well.  I believe there was a lesson not only on a personal level but as a citizen old enough, to smoke.  This woman had a job to do and she was doing it well, because if she didn't do her job and I was an uncover police officer, the store could have lost its license had I really been underaged.  She could have also been charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, had I really been underaged.  This is not one of my regrets in life, just a reminder of how when we're young we don't recognize the goodness, or guidance of others.  Actually, this woman and the experience of attempting to purchase cigarettes makes me laugh today and I'll NEVER forget this woman or her attempt to be nice and professional, at her job.  My regrets, unfortunately, are much bigger and shall remain unwritten.  But just when I believe I have encountered the BIGGEST regret of my life, another one is BORN right from my memory bank.  It's not as if it didn't exist before, but sometimes our daily grind bring these regrets to life.  More times than not I feel as if my life is ONE BIG regret, that can play out as a lifetime movie, but with NO happy ending!!!  There are times when I wish my life were a movie, this way I can control the actors {people I'm related to and deal with} and the procession of the script {my existence from birth, every movement up to the time of my death} and of course the best part, the ending!  How many people can actually control and create their own ending, in life?  It has been said that people can control their own destiny and/or, fate.  I believe this to be true to some degree, but not entirely.  I do believe that we're ALL born with a purpose and a specific time of when that purpose, is fulfilled.  It is my belief that we do play a certain percentage, in our own fate.  But this providence begs the question, what happens if I elect to do the opposite of what's expected of me.  Who's to say what's expected of me?  I don't feel that we're all on board with every step and every chance, that we take.  Perhaps we're all dealt a certain hand in life, a hand we're destined NOT to play.  What happens when one folds and decides NOT to play that hand, is it ALL laid out on the line?  Many questions to come with life and with chance, but one thing is for sure.  We only get ONE chance at life, ONE chance at doing it right.  If for nothing else, one should at least do it right for the enjoyment of the experience at life.  For me, there appears to be TOO many regrets at least to deal with, all at once.  When the regrets pile up, how do you organize or differentiate the importance, of that regret?  All I know is, as time goes by one regret does seem less important, as life deals me another blow.  As I try to get a handle on the latest regret, it stirs up old wounds with old pain.  Sometimes the wounds and pain bring tears and it makes me feel weak, because they flow like the Hudson River.  It has been said that tears are not a sign of weakness, but strength.  Could it be that all this pain is tearing into my soul with much weakness, but my tears are building a wall of destruction?  I don't know, it all sounds and feels contradictory to some degree.  I can't grasp the true tenacity of my painful experiences, that appear to teeter at my soul.  All I can do is live each day with as much strength as possible, regardless of any old or new regrets.  I must take these regrets and life my the horns and tackle the extremity of my deepest agony!!!