I'll never be the same, again.

Sometimes, in life we meet someone like I did with the BELLA Pearl, that change not only our prospective on LOVE but, life as well.  Pun Intended. 

There’s more than one reason why this time and person, is the first for me and perhaps why I am more, emotionally consumed.  That is also one of the big reasons why I was scared, and the other reason I was scared, were others who hurt me.  In my life, when people liked or claimed to like me or, loved me or, claimed to love me, it wasn’t true.  I was NOT only HAPPY seeing that the BELLA Pearl liked me but, was HAPPY to finally feel something like I NEVER did, in life.  I was also HAPPY because the BELLA Pearl had more guts than me and although I wanted things to materialize quicker, much to my DISMAY, they NEVER materialized at ALL. 

NOW, not only is the chance GONE, the BELLA Pearl is also GONE and if I could go back to ANY given day, it would be back in May on Richmond Terrace.  But, alas, life doesn’t work that way. 

At the time, there were only one of two ways to look at the situation with the BELLA Pearl, they either like you or, they are teasing you.  If you take the happiest days of my life pertaining to the situation and guts of the BELLA Pearl, I was like WOW and HAPPY, feeling they liked me.  Then, if you take those same happiest days of my life pertaining to the situation and guts of the BELLA Pearl, you say to yourself, yeah right, they don’t like you, they’re just taunting you.  Especially, when in my mind the next step never came, so I had ZERO confidence.  So, me and whatever confidence the BELLA Pearl helped me start to develop, especially went right OUT the window, when they left without saying good-bye.  But I think TOO MUCH of and FEEL SO MUCH for the BELLA Pearl, think they are TOO sweet to just want to taunt me.  That’s why, I don’t understand why they wouldn’t say good-bye before they left.  I feel like I'm being punished.  I just don’t know, and it is TEARING me up.  

I’LL NEVER be the same again and, nothing here is the same.  When someone adds so much happiness and brightness to your life and they leave, it leaves such a gaping hole that’s filled with, emptiness.