I guess he goes out, a LION!!!

I guess my MISERABLE ex goes out like a LION, for MORE than what he personally, did to me!!!  He is in-part, at fault for my HEARTACHE with the BELLA Pearl because, had he NOT disposed of our marital vehicle, I would have NEVER met them, or be consumed with the UNWARRANTED HEARTACHE!!!!!!!!!!

As Lee Greenwood’s song I.O.U. goes, “you feel I have changed your life forever {that is TRULY an UNDERSTATEMENT} and you’re NEVER going to find another somebody like me.” {this is TRULY another, UNDERSTATEMENT} And, my question still-remains, “why was this magical love aligned with the stars, only to give me HEARTACHE, in return?”  Taylor Dayne, I’ll Always LOVE You and Maxine Nightingale, Lead Me On, also chime into this, magical LOVE!!!  But, ironically, once again my FEELINGS were surprisingly made out to be, trivialized.

I just had to go, and I guess DWELL, and DWELL I shall do for a LONG time because I feel BLIND-SIDED and SLIGHTED, with NO CLOSURE, at the bare minimum.  A FOOL I was willing to be, because I WANT them so BADLY but, ironically, I am a FOOL anyway.  However, a FOOL without being with them, at ALL!!!!!!!  I went to sit at an emotional place which now has, double-edged sword presence of the lip-pulling “bellezza.”  As I sat there, I saw three planes fly by, beyond the faded clouds.  I thought to myself, could it HURT enough?  Of course NOT, and unbeknownst to me, I was inadvertently facing toward an airport.  I would have sat facing the other way but there were other cars in that direction, and the Verrazano Bridge of ALL things, was also in that direction.

I’m NOT exactly sure why other than the obvious tension and laws of attraction, does the individual “do it,” for me because NO OTHER person has EVER had ANY of the effects, they have on me.  Including but not limited to, Richmond Terrace, which was done by a notable yet, unmentionable, but my response was different.  I didn’t like it and it made me, uncomfortable.  Something about the individual is DIFFERENT on SO MANY levels, with the notable calmness they grace me with, which I NOT only NEED but, also LOVE.

I’m NOT sure why I had to be put in the position to go from FEELING so EXHILIRATING to FEELING so, FOOLISH and HEARTBROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Why did I have to have this SHORT-LIVED, BELLA experience yet, NOT be able to experience, the TRUE ESSENCE of its BELLA?

Then, of course, I’m told NOT to dwell and that is GOOD advice but, when you feel so RIGHT with the LOVE for the individual, how do you NOT dwell when they made a quiet and quick, exit?  I can’t possibly not dwell and anyway, I am NOT good with matters of the HEART.  I do tend to get down, but NEVER like this before.  UGH!!!!!!!